I am rapidly becoming a skeptic.  Hardly a week goes by but that either Marilyn or myself receives a notice that we have won something, or that some valuable free gift is enclosed in the bulk rate envelope. I am smart enough to know that businesses can’t and won’t stay in business very long if they just send valuable free gifts to complete strangers in the mail. There has to be a catch somewhere. Right? Right. We have all heard over and over again, “There is no such thing as a free lunch.” Well maybe we should add to that:

• There is no such thing as a free large screen television,
• A free car,
• A free dream vacation to the Superbowl, or
• A free I-Pad.

Again, the skeptic in me asks, “What’s in the fine print?”

Now can you think of even one exception? Well to be honest, I can. Jesus noted in

Luke 11:13, “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Here the Lord offers a free gift, one of the very best gifts of all, and it is freely given to His children. What is that gift, you ask? It is the Holy Spirit of God.

This morning I want to begin a new series of messages. Over the next several weeks I want to talk to you about unwrapping your spiritual gifts. I will be dealing with some of the gifts of the Spirit found in 1 Corinthians 12.

However, this morning and next Sunday morning, as a lead in to the series, I want to give you a primer on the Holy Spirit. I feel that before you can understand the Gifts of the Spirit, you really need to understand the Spirit behind the gifts. Since this is a primer, for some of you, this will be material that you have no doubt heard before and that you already know. For others, though, this will be new news.

WHO IS THE HOLY SPIRIT?
To answer that, let me first ask, when did you receive Jesus Christ as your personal Savior? I accepted him in August, 1961, at the Rainbow Tabernacle church, in Wichita, Kansas. The church was in revival. I was but a young teenager at the time. My mother came to Jesus in that same service. So, again, when did you receive Jesus into your heart?

This is a quiz — When do you think the disciples received Christ?

a.         On the Mount of Transfiguration

b.        While praying in the Garden of Gethsemane

c.         At the resurrection of Jesus Christ

d.        On the Day of Pentecost

e.         None of the above?

In my opinion, the answer is “e”, None of the above.

Let me direct your attention to John 20:22, “And with that he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’”

This is it. This is where it happened. At this point Jesus breathed new life into Peter, James, John and the others and they experienced what Jesus in John 3 called being “born again.” In Genesis 2:7 we read, “The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” In both Hebrew and Greek, the word for “breath” also means “spirit.” The breath of God here in Genesis brought about physical life. The breath of Jesus Christ in John 20:22 brought about spiritual life.

Prior to this life-giving moment, the Holy Spirit had dwelt with the disciples in the person of Christ, but now the Spirit would be in them. In the same way, the Spirit moves in and makes us His temple when we come to know Jesus.

So back to the question, “Who is the Holy Spirit?” He is the One who brings us to salvation. At salvation, He comes to live in us.

Then too, I see Him as being a part of the so-called Holy Trinity. Let me explain. The Bible teaches us that God is comprised of three persons:

• God the Father
  • God the Son
  • God the Holy Spirit

Notice how this is brought out in these two passages of Scripture:

Luke 1:35 records the angel Gabriel announcing the Savior’s birth to the virgin Mary. Gabriel said, “The Holy Spirit (God the Spirit) will come upon you, and the power of the Most High (God the Father) will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy offspring shall be called the Son of God (God the Son).”

For my second example I want to use Matthew 3:16-17, “As soon as Jesus (God the Son) was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God (God the Spirit) descending like a dove and lighting on him. And a voice from heaven (God the Father) said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.’” 

We call these three, the three in one. For the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are not three gods, but rather one God. 

Nature is full of examples of three in one:

The apple

• Peel
• Flesh
• Core

Nevertheless, these three parts of the apple make up only one apple.

The egg

• Shell
• White
• Yoke

Again, these three parts of the egg make up only one egg.

We fit into this ILLUSTRATION as well. Each one of us are made up oF:

• Body
• Soul
• Spirit

These three parts though, again make up one human being.

Deuteronomy 6:4 states, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.” Yes, He is one God.

So the Holy Spirit is as much a part of God as is God Himself. In fact, the Holy Spirit is God just as Jesus is God. He is not a created god, not an angelic god, not an inferior god – but God!

He possesses all of the characteristics of deity including:

• He is eternal
• Unlimited in wisdom and knowledge
• Everywhere present at the same time
• All powerful
• Holy
• Complete
• Unchanging

Some of the names of the Holy Spirit as found in Scripture are:

• The Spirit
• The Holy Ghost
• The Spirit of Truth
• The Spirit of Wisdom
• The Spirit of God
• The Spirit of Promise
• The Spirit of Grace
• The Helper
• The Counselor
• The Comforter

Now I want you to notice the fact that while they are equal, each member of the Holy Trinity possesses different responsibilities:

• I pray to the Father
• Through the Son
• By the Holy Spirit.

I want to break this down. When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He taught them to direct their prayers to God the Father – “Our Father in Heaven, Holy is your name….”

Next, Jesus instructed His followers to pray in the Name of Jesus. It is that name that grants us authority. It is that name that grants us access. How can a puny little human being like myself hope to approach Almighty God? I come to the Father saying, “I know Jesus. He is my Savior. He told me that I could come before you; that you would honor my request so I come to you in Jesus’ name.”

Finally, the Apostle Paul teaches us in Romans 8 that it is the Holy Spirit that is our helper in prayer.

Next,

• The Father forgives
• By way of the blood of Jesus
• Due to the conviction or the work of the Holy Spirit.

• The Father sent
• The Son went
• And the Spirit abides.

Well, leaving that, I want us to NOW LOOK AT THE COMING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

John 16:7 sets the stage, “But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.”

Some other translations put this in part:

• “It is for your benefit….”
• “it is to your advantage….”
• “It is a good thing….”
• “But I tell you that I am going to do what is best for you. That is why I am going away. The Holy Spirit cannot come to help you until I leave. But after I am gone, I will send the Spirit to you.”

No doubt, it had to be hard for the disciples to comprehend how in the world anything could be better than having the living breathing Son of God — Jesus Christ of Nazareth – the Promised Messiah — right there in their midst.

They had watched Him as He healed the sick, cast out devils, raised the dead, forgave sinners and more. What could possibly be any better than that? Nonetheless, Jesus was telling them that not only was He going, but that it was for their good or advantage that He was in fact leaving. 

How could this be, they wondered? While Jesus was here on Earth, He was limited by His fleshly body:

• He had to eat, to drink, to rest like any other man.
• He could only be in one place at any one time.
• Then too, He also had a date on a cross that He had to keep.  As a sin offering, He had to die.

While Jesus was God, He was also very human. It was that robe of flesh that limited Him.

However, the Holy Spirit would not be robed in flesh and thus it would not know such limitations.

• The Spirit would be as limitless and powerful as God Himself.
• It would not grow tried or weary.
• It would not need food to eat and water to drink.
• It could be here, there, anywhere at the same time.
• It would and could never die!

While the disciples struggled to see any possible good in the Lord’s leaving, we can clearly see the advantages that the Holy Spirit’s coming has brought to the church.

Notice now Acts 1:3-5 (Contemporary English Version), “For forty days after Jesus had suffered and died, he proved in many ways that he had been raised from death. He appeared to his apostles and spoke to them about God’s kingdom. While he was still with them, he said: Don’t leave Jerusalem yet. Wait here for the Father to give you the Holy Spirit, just as I told you he has promised to do. John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”

Here Jesus shares some of His very last words prior to His ascending back up to heaven. Again He reminded them that He was going to send the promised Holy Spirit, but until the Spirit came, they were to merely sit-tight. To wait in the city of Jerusalem.

Let me remind you, it was just prior to this encounter that Jesus had given the disciples the Great Commission to go into all the world and preach the Gospel. With such a great task in view, it certainly stands to reason that they needed to get started right away. Right? Wrong. They were told to wait.

As many of you know, I am a Type A personality. As such, I hate to wait. Convenience stores were created with people like me in mind. “But Pastor, you can save money if you go to Woodmans or Wal-Mart.” I know. But if I wanted to go on a 20 mile hike, I would join the army. I want to be in and out not in two minutes, not two hours! I hate to wait.

Are you aware of the fact that if you lived on St. Paul Island in Alaska and got the urge for pizza, it would take three days for the pizza to arrive? It would be just my luck that it would be cold my then too! I hate to wait!

I understand this is a true story. A group of travelers were being forced to wait for their airplane, which was late due to another flight being canceled. The would-be passengers looked horrible and were in a surly mood.

Finally an angry customer pushed his way to the front of the line, slammed his ticket down and said, “I demand to be seated on this flight right now and I must be seated in first class”.  The flight attendant, trying to be nice said, “Sir, we will get to you as soon as possible, but until then you must wait in line like everyone else”.

“But, ma’am,” he replied, “do you have any idea who I am?” Without hesitation, she smiled, picked up her microphone and said, “We have a passenger here at the gate who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to gate 17.” I am obviously not the only person who hates to wait.

Regardless, sometimes God’s plans include some down time. When He makes us wait, though, He always has the big picture in mind. When He told His disciples to wait here in Acts 1, He was taking the necessary steps to set them up for success. Acts 1:8 says in part, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you….” He knew that having the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives would be the difference maker.

Remember, the promise of power was being directed at the very same men who:

• had fled at the first sign of danger in the Garden of Gethsemane.
• had forsaken Jesus when he was being led away to be crucified.
• had been in hiding and were afraid to show their faces.
• Then too, Peter had denied Christ three times while Thomas was filled with doubt.

And yet Jesus was going to send these very same fellows out into the world to witness to the fact of His death, burial, and resurrection. And He goes on to state that they would begin their mission in Jerusalem – the very same city where Jesus had been crucified just 40 days earlier. In the meantime, they had to wait.

Acts 1:14 then takes us through the next ten days. It says, “They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.” In obedience to the Lord’s command, they stayed in Jerusalem.

• They stayed and prayed.
• They prayed together.
• They all prayed – women, men, everyone present prayed.

The total number of people waiting in the upper room was about 120 according to verse 15

What an excellent thing to do while one is waiting on the Lord. If you are waiting on the Lord for some specific answer, why not wait and pray at the same time? That strategy worked great here in the Book of Acts! It will yet work great today.

Please notice Acts 2:1-4 with me, “When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

Five things concerning the coming of the Spirit stand out in this passage.

FIRST, THE TIMING

Pentecost marked the end of the spring harvest. As such, the Feast of Pentecost was one of the three great pilgrimage festivals which required Israel’s attendance at the temple. Due to this, Jerusalem was literally packed to capacity with people from all over the Roman Empire.

Josephus, the Jewish historian who lived at this time, tells us that oftentimes the city of Jerusalem which normally had a population of 150,000 would grow to well over a million during such a feast.  The writer Luke records that people were there from the north, south east and west. Or to put it another way, the writer notes that there were at least 16 different language groups present.

Also, it had been just 50 days since the crucifixion of Jesus. The event was still on people’s minds, judging from Peter’s sermon later on in this chapter.

 

THE SOURCE

The coming of the Holy Spirit was not of any human endeavor. The gift came from heaven. 

• It was God.
• It was powerful.
• It was sudden.

THE TWO SYMBOLS: WIND AND FIRE

Since the word “spirit” can also be translated “wind”, does it not make all the sense in the world that the coming of the Holy Spirit would be accompanied by a sound “like the blowing of a violent wind.” The sound definitely let everyone know that God was in the building.

But He didn’t stop with the sound of the wind. The Spirit also came with fire. While a little wind will put out a little fire, a great wind will only intensify a great fire. And, friends, this was one GREAT fire!

In Matthew 3:11 John the Baptist noted, “I baptize you with water for repent-ance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.”

This was it – Spirit and fire combined!

Both the sound of the wind as well as the tongues as of fire symbolized the coming of the promised Holy Spirit.

 

THE RECIPIENTS

I think it is safe to say that the Spirit did not come on just a part or on just a holy sampling of the 120 gathered believers. No, the tongues like fire rested on “each” of them and they were “all” filled with the Holy Spirit. 

The New Living Translation says in part, “And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit….”  That is pretty clear, isn’t it?

 

THEY ALL SPOKE IN OTHER TONGUES

Notice verse 4 once again, “All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

Some people use the term – “unknown tongues” in reference to the languages spoken here. However, the languages spoken here were far from unknown. While those speaking did not understand what they were saying, the gathered assemblage certainly under-stood what was being said.

Acts 2:7-8, 11 continues, “Utterly amazed, they asked: ‘Are not all these men who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in his own native language?’” “…we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!’

Listen to a portion of verse 11 from a variety of translations:

• “we all hear these men telling in our own tongue what great things God has done.”
• “we hear them telling in our own tongues the mighty works of God.”
•  “… the magnificent acts of God.”
• “… the excellencies of God.”
• “…  the triumphs of God …!”
• “… the wonders of God!”
• “we all hear these men telling in our own languages about the mighty miracles of God!”

Those speaking in other tongues were not talking gibberish, they were worshipping God in a way and on a dimension that they had never worshipped Him before!

Speaking of speaking in tongues, I want to note that the Bible goes on to say elsewhere:

• “They shall speak with new tongues.”
• “I would that you all spoke with tongues.”
• “I thank God that I speak in tongues more than all of you.”
• “For anyone who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God.”
• “He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself…”
• “Tongues, then are a sign…”

As those early disciples, I too pray in other tongues. In fact, I spent some time yesterday worshipping the Lord in my prayer language. I see tongues as:

• something good…
• something to be desired…
• something of God…
• something with a divine purpose.
• A sign of the Holy Spirit’s presence.

Verse 12 adds, “Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, ‘What does this mean?’”

Literally, nothing like this had EVER happened anywhere before! It was totally and completely unprecedented. The onlookers wanted to know, what on earth is happening?   

Peter, yes the same Peter who had denied the Lord three times only weeks earlier, started preaching. As he did so, he directed their attention to an Old Testament prophesy found in Joel 2. In the prophecy, Joel predicted that the Lord would visit his people; indeed, He would come and live with them. Then, as the prophet puts it, “afterward” (after this visitation) “I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh.” Peter then announced to one and all that what they were witnessing was the fulfillment of that 800 year old prophesy. God was pouring out His promised Holy Spirit.

Acts 2:41-42 states, “Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day. They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” Here we see the results of the coming of the Spirit  — three thousand people received Christ. And not only that, but we can see that their lives were also dramatically changed.

What a day!

• Three-thousand people believed in and accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Savior.
• Three thousand received forgiveness of their sins.
• Three thousand people went back to their homelands: to the East, West, North and South, bearing the good news of Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection.

Later in Acts we see that the fire of Pentecost spread like a brushfire in dry grass on a windy day. It spread through the Roman Empire and Asia Minor to all nations.

Years later the Apostle Paul was to write in Colossians 1:6, “All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing….”

I find it interesting that the key to the success of the Apostles in the Book of Acts was the full and abiding presence of the Holy Spirit! Notice:

• “Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit” (Acts 4:8).
• Stephen — “full of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 7:55).
• Barnabas – “full of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 11:24).
• “Paul, filled with the Holy Spirit” (Acts 13:9).

This strong emphasis on the baptism with the Holy Spirit in the Book of Acts is by divine design.

Any faith that neglects the Spirit-baptism is incomplete and pre-Pentecost.

• Without this baptism there would have been no Book of Acts,
• no Church of Jesus Christ,
• as well as no adequate enablement for victorious living and effective Christian service.

I want to close out this message with A statement from the pen of Dr. Jerry Vines (long time pastor of the First Baptist Church of Jacksonville as well as the former President of the Southern Baptist Convention). Vines said that the average Christian and the average church are somewhere bogged down between Calvary and Pentecost. They have been to Calvary for pardon, but they have not been to Pentecost for power. Bethlehem means God With Us. Calvary means God For Us. But Pentecost means God in us.

I believe that the average Christian is much like the Ephesians believers in Acts 19:2 when the Apostle Paul came to them and asked, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?” They replied that they didn’t even know that there was a Holy Spirit. Many Christians do not understand the role of the Holy Spirit and they have not appropriated the power of the Holy Spirit in their own personal life. Have you?  Have you unwrapped the precious gift of the Spirit?

 

 

 

 

 

Once again I want to deal with the seventh commandment — “You shall not commit adultery”(Exodus 20:14). This will be the final message on my series on the Ten Commandments.

FOR MY FIRST POINT TODAY, I WANT TO STRESS THAT AN AFFAIR CAUSES CHAOS
Through the years I have counseled literally thousands of people in thousands of counseling sessions. Out of all of those sessions, the one that stands out in my mind as being the most difficult and challenging was one where a husband was cheating on his wife. The wife and children attended the church I pastored. The fellow did not attend church anywhere. Anyway, he decided to tell the children that he was leaving their mother and was going to go live with another woman. He asked me if he could tell them in my office with me being present. I was to be there in case the children needed their pastor.

At the same time he broke the news, he broke their hearts. They cried. They climbed all over him like little monkeys begging him to change his mind. He would not budge. Finally, I asked the mother and children to move to another office. I then proceeded to tell that father that if I had I hurt those small children to the extent that he had hurt them, he would have killed me — and he would have been justified, in my opinion, in doing so. But then I reminded him, that I did not have it within my power to hurt those little kids in the same way nor on the same level as he had hurt them. The hurt that he inflicted would be a toothache that would not quickly heal. Nothing I said mattered. He walked out of that building into the arms of the other woman. I will never ever forget that meeting.
Adultery causes chaos.

Another one. After John found out that his wife was having an affair, he took his rifle and went out in a field across from the house from where his wife’s boyfriend lived. He then coldly waited for the other man to walk out his door. He later told me that his intent was to kill him. Fortunately for all concerned, the other man, the father of four children, did
not leave his house that night. He lived to face another day.
Adultery causes chaos.

Jim was in the Air Force. He knew and I knew that his wife was having an affair with the postman. She readily admitted the sin to me in my office. I tried everything within my power to bring the affair to an end. Frankly, I was afraid that someone was going to get shoot.

One day the airman came home from work early and unannounced. As soon as he walked in the door, he found the postman’s pouch as well as assorted articles of clothing on the kitchen floor. The trail of evidence led to the bedroom. Jim found the fellow hiding in the closet – undressed. Jim called me and wanted me to tell him what he should do. He wanted to kill the man. I told him to let the man dress and leave. I would be there in a few minutes.

Shortly the two of us were over at the other man’s house talking to him through the front door. Oddly enough, he denied everything. His wife was sick that day and had stayed home from work. She came out of her bedroom as we were talking. His denials were for her ears. Jim and I left the house and went directly to the local post office. The brother was less than two years away from retirement. After Jim and I talked to the postmaster that afternoon, the mailman was fired. The end result was, the affair did come to an end that day.

Adultery causes chaos.

While most affairs are – believe it or not — about sex; they are more about betrayal. A person who is having an adulterous affair is leading a double life.

• Did he really go out of town over the weekend due to work, or was it to meet the other woman?
• Did her car really break down causing her to be home late that night, or was she secretly meeting him?
• Were the unexplained calls on the cell phone really wrong numbers, or were they calls from some lover?

Who knows? When a person steps over the line that separates fidelity from infidelity, he or she immediately breaks trust with his or her spouse. Then too, as David in the Bible proved when he had his affair with Bathsheba, a person will resort to any means – including lying and deceit – and in David’s case, murder — to cover up an adulterous relationship.

Adultery causes chaos.

Adultery is bad. It is a violation of the Seventh Commandment. Jesus calls it a sin.

SO HOW CAN ONE KEEP FROM FALLING INTO ADULTERY?
I want to share with you seven things that if followed, will go a long ways in keeping you from giving in to sexual sin. These are not in any particular order. Nor do I give each of them the same amount of importance or space. However, when the seven guidelines are put together and observed, they do help to affair-proof one’s marriage.

1. ESTABLISH SET BOUNDARIES
I define boundaries as sensible ways to keep oneself from situations that might lead to compromise and temptation. Think of boundaries as being a fence around your marriage.

Greg Smalley of The Center for Relationship Enrichment notes, “If you want to affair proof your marriage, it’s important to draw a line and then stay a safe distance behind it. For each person the safety line will be different. Some people will not be able to take business trips or work late with a co-worker of the opposite sex. Others may not be able to meet a certain person for lunch or to work-out at the gym. Whatever the situation, determine where you need to draw the line. Since everyone makes mistakes, having room before you fall over the edge can be the difference between a compromising situation and losing your marriage.”

Dennis Rainey in familylife.com makes a similar point. He says, “Remember that nobody falls off a cliff if they’re standing 40 feet away. You need to make your marriage relation-ship such a priority that you don’t come anywhere near the edge.”

I know that I have shared some of this with you before, nonetheless, I want to go over a few of the boundaries that I have established for my own life. I repeat, these are MY boundaries. More than likely, they are not yours. Several of them may indeed not work for you. I understand that. I simply submit them to you as an example of what I mean by personal boundaries.

• I try never go out to eat alone with a member of the opposite sex. Restaurants are far more intimate than is an office. (When was the last time that you heard of inviting someone to the office for a date? No, couples go out to eat or out for coffee.) The addition of even one extra person greatly minimizes any potential for intimacy.
• I am careful about what I talk about when I am with a member of the opposite sex. For instance. I will never put down my wife when I am talking to another lady. Frankly, I try to never put down my wife period. Then along this line, I am not a sex therapist. Therefore, even in counseling sessions, I try to steer clear of intimate conversations. While I can and do deal with moral issues in my office, I refuse to get into sex therapy issues. I prefer to refer.
• I avoid being alone in a car with a woman other than my wife or my daughters.  The close physical proximity and inability to leave one another creates a perfect environment for mischief. One of the worse affairs that I ever had to deal with as a pastor involved an older gentleman and a younger lady who rode together to church by themselves on Sunday nights. They were usually late returning home, and, believe me when I say, it was not due to the church services running long.
• I do not do something for another lady that I would not do for my wife. I enjoy telling this story. A number of years ago a fellow tried to help my mother-in-law on with her coat. The fellow was known for his reputation with the ladies. She stopped him immediately. She said something to the effect that: “When you start helping your wife with her coat, then you can start helping me with mine.”

Okay, I just gave you several of my own personal boundaries. What are some of the boundaries that you have in place to protect you; to protect your marriage?

2. WORK AT YOUR MARRIAGE
I will let this video clip explain what I mean.

http://seeds.churchonthemove.com/drama/the-ultimate-marriage

Okay, what’s the secret to the ultimate marriage? WORK!

3. NEVER ASSUME YOU’VE HOME FREE
An older marriage counselor was asked, “What is the most difficult year of marriage?” How would you answer that question?

• Is it the first year?
• Is it the year the children come along?
• Is it the infamous seven-year itch?
• The counselor did not give any of those stock answers. Rather he said, “The most difficult year is always the current year.” I think there is a lot of truth to that. The point is, any relationship is always at risk.

I have here a news piece from The Telegraph in London. The dateline was Wednesday, January 18, 2012. The headline: 99-year-old divorces wife after he discovered 1940s affair.

An Italian couple is to become the world’s oldest divorcees, after the 99-year-old husband found that his 96-year-old wife had an affair in the 1940s.

The man was rifling through an old chest of drawers when he made the discovery a few days before Christmas. Notwithstanding the time that had elapsed since the betrayal, he was so upset that he immediately confronted his wife of 77 years and demanded a divorce. Guilt-stricken, she reportedly confessed everything but was unable to persuade her husband to reconsider his decision. She wrote the letters to her lover during a secret affair in the 1940s, according to court papers released in Rome this week.

They have five children, a dozen grandchildren and one great-grand child.

Julie Ferwerda, who herself suffered a near lapse into adultery, wrote in a piece entitled, “Infidelity in Marriage”, My experience taught me that no matter how sincere our faith or how pure our intentions, an affair can happen to any of us. None of us will ever reach a level of spiritual maturity where we can relax and trust our flesh. Scripture warns us that “the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41) and that Satan lies in wait to trip us up (1 Peter 5:8). If King David, the “man after [God's] own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14), fell into adultery, can we consider ourselves immune to the temptation?

I agree. To say, “It could absolutely never happen to me”, is a little arrogant. I think
we’re all capable of sin.

The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:12 (The Message), “Don’t be so naive and self-confident. You’re not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence.”

4. MAKE YOUR REMARRIAGE FUN
Albert Stauderman tells of a young business woman who was approached by a real estate agent who wanted to sell her a home. “A home?” she says. “I was born in a hospital, educated in a boarding school, courted in a car, married in church. We eat in restaurants, spend our mornings playing golf, and spend our afternoons playing bridge at the club. Evenings we go to movies, and when I die I’m going to be buried from a funeral home. I don’t need a home; all I need is a garage!”

I really do not know where the lady was coming from. Maybe she was just trying to be funny. Then again, maybe, she was venting some frustration at a life that had become just a long, tedious string of events; a never ending carousel ride on the merry-go-round called monotony. A marriage that had gotten stuck on “autopilot or cruise control.”

While I do not mean to be negative, I have come to the conclusion that many if not most couples today do not find marriage fun or exciting.

• They don’t spend money on their marriage.
• They have stopped building memories between just the two of them.
• Many marriage partners no longer even engage in conversation.

They are consumed with making it through the day, to the end of the month, all the while hoping for something better next year.

Gary J. Oliver, Ph.D, Executive Director of The Center for Relationship Enrichment and Professor of Psychology and Practical Theology at John Brown University, has pointed out that sexual temptation increases as the satisfaction in the relationship decreases. In other words, the lower the relational happiness the greater the temptation to medicate through some kind of addictive behavior (e.g., sex, alcohol, work, etc.).

Proverbs 5:17-19 (Contemporary English Version) fits here. The wise Solomon wrote, “Save yourself for your wife and don’t have sex with other women. Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. She is beautiful and graceful, just like
a deer; you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love.”

I want to touch on two words that are found in this text. The first word is “happy.” The word conveys the idea of pleasure, of spontaneous emotion or extreme happiness. The husband is to be happy, to feel like singing and dancing at the thought of his wife.

The second term, “stay deeply in love” is translated “ravished” in the King James version. Again, the writer is talking about being “intoxicated” with your wife. Enjoy her. Take delight in her. Drink deeply of her love.

Such delight in a marriage does not just happen. It takes effort. Due diligence. Therefore, I want to urge you to do something thoughtful for your spouse every single day. This could be a love note, a phone call, or a gracious compliment. What does your spouse enjoy doing? Make it a point to do that together at times.

• Go to a concert.
• Take a hike.
• Go to a mall and then out to eat.
• Go golfing.
• Watch an old movie together.
• Have a date night.

Ask yourself – what did you enjoy doing as a couple back when you were dating. If possible, do it again. Have fun.

Dave Carder, in his book entitled Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You To Know About Protecting Your Marriage, wrote, In order to have time for yourselves, you have to steal it from your children. Yes, you read that right! Children are born narcissistic and egocentric, and they will take all the time, all the energy, all the money you have and still not be satisfied. You can only build a personal relationship between the two of you when you are alone with each other. Having fun together will help prevent the close call of finding fun with someone else!

5. GET REAL
Please notice, Proverbs 2:16-19 from The New Living Translation: “Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman, from the flattery of the adulterous woman. She has abandoned her husband and ignores the covenant she made before God. Entering her house leads to death; it is the road to hell. The man who visits her is doomed. He will never reach the paths of life.”

Proverbs 7:13-19 adds, “She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said…. I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deep of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love! My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey.” The passage warns against the seductress who goes after her prey with stolen kisses and touches. Certainly, the passages pertain both to the male and well as a female.

I clipped this from a question/answer column in Redbook by Dr. John Gray, the author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus:

The question: My husband and I have been married 10 years. We’re very close to five other couples, spending weekends and vacations together. On one of these trips I got into a fight with my husband and stalked off. Harry, the husband of a close friend, followed to console me. He gave me a little kiss — and sparks flew. He’s called me a few times since, but I keep avoiding his hints that he come over. That kiss made me feel like a teenager — yet I’m happily married! Why am I so confused?

Answer: This guy is a friend — but to whom? Not to you. He caught you in a moment of intense vulnerability, and now he thinks he can cash in on it. And if he thinks a fling with one of his wife’s closest friends won’t hurt her, he’s as arrogant as he is insensitive. He’s also no friend to your husband. He broke a cardinal… rule: Never pursue another man’s wife.

Tell him thanks but no thanks. Then ask yourself whether you were stirred by that kiss because you felt disconnected from your husband. If the answer is yes, make reestablishing the connection a priority. This could require joint counseling, which may bring up resentments and hurts on both sides. But once you break through these emotional blocks, you may rediscover why you fell in love with him.

Earlier in this message, I mentioned a lady by the name of Julie. She wrote an article in Discipleship Journal about a time she almost had an adulterous affair. She wrote, “Then I met a man — a gorgeous, smooth, successful man, while on vacation. He pursued me with the most romantic words and behaviors a woman could stand without melting. It was just like Hollywood.

Suddenly it dawned on me: The attention he was giving me wasn’t about me. It was about sex and lust and greed. I wasn’t special to him: I was just another potential con-quest. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, using attention and flattery to get what he wanted from me. The Apostle Paul described similar men in Romans 16:18: “For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”

Hey, doesn’t that sound a whole lot like what I just read a moment ago from the book of Proverbs?

Again, get real. The quick thrill isn’t worth the cost.

Before I move to my next point, I want to share a piece from Jim Bakker’s book, I Was Wrong. Baker at one time headed the largest Christian television network in America. He also ran a Christian resort center. Then he had an affair. Baker wrote: I knew that what I was doing went directly against everything I believed as a Christian. I had never cheated on my wife in all our years of marriage. Jessica Hahn, however, seemed quite comfortable with the situation. I simply abandoned myself to the moment. We did not make love; we had sex. When it was over, I quickly left the room, and in a daze, hurried to the elevator and pressed the button marking the eighth floor. The winter afternoon sun was already beginning to slide down on the horizon as I stepped inside my room. I was horrified. Oh, God! What have I done? I had not considered the consequences of my absurd attempt to make Tammy Faye jealous. I had not even paused to think of the potential ramifications of my actions while I was giving in to the temptation of having sex with a woman other than my wife. I had simply reacted. I had opened the door to attack on the ministry I headed, my family, and me personally. Worse yet, the devil had not made me do any of it; I had done it of my own stubborn will. I disrobed and immediately stepped into the shower, turning the water on as hot as I could stand it. I never felt so dirty in all my life. Maybe if I make the water hotter, it will wash it all away, I thought.

6. KEEP YOUR HEART AND MIND PURE
Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -think about such things.”

In Matthew 15:17-19 Jesus adds, “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean’. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander.” Jesus here lists adultery as being symptomatic of an evil heart. In fact he puts the sin in the same company as “murder, slander, theft, and false testimony.”

Is it any wonder therefore that Job listed as one of his boundaries, Job 31:1, “But I made an agreement with my eyes not to look with desire at a girl.” I will read the passage again from two additional translations:

• “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust upon a young woman.”
• “I made a solemn pact with myself never to undress a girl with my eyes.”

Would you be willing to make a similar pact?

Saints, it is important that we watch what we watch, that we listen to what we listen to, and that we think about what we think about. We should not allow anything in our lives that would pollute our affections and our thoughts.

Why is this point so important? The answer to that question can be found in Ephesians 4:27 which warns us, “…do not give the devil a foothold.” The word translated foothold here refers to ground or space. One commentator says that the phrase actually refers to giving the devil “no leeway… no room to move.”

Any time we allow the evil one any place in our lives, regardless of how big or how small, we can fully expect that that area will be exploited by the devil. Just a little ground:

• One little lie,
• An illicit peek,
• One overnight stand,
• One forbidden kiss…
• One – Satan is always happy with just one!

Why is the devil happy with just one? Because he knows that if he is patient, one will oft-
times lead to two, then to three…. However, the downward slide can be traced back to that initial act of allowing Satan a foothold or opportunity in the life.

The key is resist the devil! Period! Don’t even let him get his foot in the door. Ephesians 5:3 therefore states, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” If you will watch the beginnings, the endings will take care of themselves.

7. ADULTERY IS A SIN AGAINST GOD
After King David had been rebuked by the Lord due to his affair with Bathsheba, he confessed,“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight” (Psalm 51:4). When Joseph of the Old Testament refused to be seduced by Potiphar’s wife, he said, “How … could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9).

Why is adultery a sin against God, you ask? It is a direct attack on His established order of things:

• Adultery is an attack on true marital love.
• Adultery is an attack on the husband and wife.
• Adultery is an attack on the children of the marriage.
• Adultery is an attack on society.
• Adultery is an attack on the church.
• Adultery is an attack on the purity of marital sex.
• Adultery is an attack on the Ten Commandments
• Adultery is an attack on conscience.
• Adultery is an attack on reputation.
• Adultery is an attack on innocence.
• Adultery is an attack on the body.
• Adultery is an attack on everything that is holy.

Then too, adultery could result in an unplanned pregnancy and the creation of an eternal soul outside of the safe confines of the home.
If is therefore no wonder that the Lord warns “God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery” Hebrews 13:4 (God’s Word translation).

HAVE YOU COMMITTED ADULTERY? Are you guilty of some sexual sin?

• The Bible lets us know that God forgave David of his great sin.
• Jesus likewise forgave a woman in the Gospels who had been caught in the very act of adultery.
• He granted His love and grace to a woman at a Samaritan well in John 4. She had had four husbands and was at the time that Jesus talked to her, living with a fellow aside from marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 gives a list of sins – including adultery. The people of Corinth were guilty of each of the vices listed, yes including a number of sexual sins. It is in this context that we come to verse 11 which says in The Living Bible, “There was a time when some of you were just like that but now your sins are washed away, and you are set apart for God; and He has accepted you because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.”

Friends, again and again the Bible shows us that there is forgiveness of sins – even the sin of adultery – in Jesus.

I WANT TO CLOSE WITH THIS. True story. One evening a woman was driving home when she noticed a huge truck behind her. The truck was uncomfortably close. She stepped on the gas to gain some distance from the truck, but when she sped up the truck did too. The faster she drove, the faster the truck drove.
Now scared, she exited the freeway. But the truck stayed with her. The woman then turned up a main street, hoping to lose her pursuer in traffic. But the truck ran a red light and continued the chase.

Reaching the point of panic, the woman whipped her car into a service station and
bolted out of her auto screaming for help. The truck driver sprang from his truck and ran toward her car. Yanking the back door open, the driver pulled out a man hidden between the front and the back seats.

The woman was running from the wrong person. From his high vantage point, the truck driver had spotted a would-be rapist in the woman’s car. The driver did not intend to harm the lady, rather he wanted to save her even at the cost of his own safety.

In like fashion, many people run from God’s commands yes, even the Seventh Command on adultery. Little do they realize, though, that they are running from the wrong thing.

• His Word is not meant to harm, but to protect.
• His commands are not given in spite, they are given in love.

The Lord truly knows what is best for us, and as such, He tells us, “Do not commit adultery.” No, not now; not ever.

The news account read — Frustrated wife puts gamer husband up for sale on Craigslist. Guys, be careful how involved you get with this season’s awesome crop of video games. Your wife may try to sell you off. Kyle Baddley learned this the hard way earlier this month, when his wife Alyse got frustrated by his constant Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 playing and offered him up to the highest bidder on Craigslist.

“I am selling my 22 year old husband,” the ad read. “He enjoys eating and playing video games all day. Easy to maintain, just feed and water every 3-5 hours. You must have Internet and space for gaming. Got tired of waiting so free to good home. If acceptable replacement is offered will trade.”

The ad, of course, was a joke. But that didn’t stop people from replying. One woman offered to retrain him. Another guy said he was willing to trade spots with Kyle, noting that he was both house-trained and preferred books to games. “We didn’t think we would get any responses at all, but we’ve gotten so many,” Alyse said. “Someone even offered a blue bag of Skittles.” Some people, though, took it a bit too seriously. One person suggested she use the free time to go out on her own, while others wrote that they were concerned about Alyse’s relationship with her husband.

Among the unconcerned was Kyle’s mother. She not only encouraged Alyse to run the ad, she helped her write it. Kyle, it seems, has learned his lesson and has pulled back a bit from his Modern Warfare 3 playtime.

Have you ever thought about listing your spouse on Craig’s List? Do you think you could get more than a blue bag of Skittles for him or her? I would certainly hope so.

This morning I want to begin a short two-part series on the Seventh Commandment – “You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14. These last two messages will wrap up my series on The Ten.

In the year 1623, Baker and Lukas published a Bible in England that has since become known as “The Wicked Bible”. It was called this due to a printing error. The publishers inadvertently left out the little three-letter word “not” in the seventh commandment. The commandment went from “Thou shalt not commit adultery” to “Thou shalt commit adultery.” The printers were heavily fined by the High Commission and the whole edition destroyed. However, I understand that before the error was discovered by the High Commission, that particular edition was a big seller.

Along this line, I have it on good authority that when Moses returned from Mount Sinai and his meeting with God, he said to the people, “I’ve got good news and bad news. First, the good news. I talked Him down from 21 to 10. The bad news is He won’t budge on number 7.”

Of all the Commandments, number 7 – the prohibition about adultery — is no doubt the most difficult one to address. It is not by accident that I moved it to the end of the series. I would be terribly surprised if people didn’t stay home today simply because they did not want to hear a message on this topic. Hey, I understand.

• First of all, it is complicated. The commandment concerns marriage, sex, and faith.
• Next, it is a private thing. The popular logic is, what takes place in the privacy of one’s bedroom between consenting adults is no one’s else’s business.
• Then it is a relational thing. As a pastor, I have known a good number of people who have violated this commandment. They did it. They know they did it; I know they did it. And they know that I know that they did it. Do you know what I mean?
• Many of these folks have made things right with God; they have repented and have moved on with their lives. I would not want to be seen as throwing their past in their faces. I count some of these folks close personal friends.
• Adultery is hard to talk about also because it is so often traumatic and damaging to everyone involved. The children who must live through the experience of having an unfaithful parent, are sentenced to carry the burden of knowing that one of their parents betrayed the other parent. That is something that they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives.
• Finally, like any sin, this one results in some pretty dire consequences. It is never fun to preach on the judgments of Almighty God.

Nonetheless, there are ten commandments – not 9, ten. If I am to finish the series, I have to cover the Seventh Commandment. I will do so at this time.  By the way, I will be talking about sex this morning. If the topic offends you, then I encourage you to go home and get rid of your television.

WHAT IS ADULTERY?
According to Unger’s Bible Dictionary, adultery is “the willful violation of the marriage contract by either of the parties through sexual intercourse with a third party.” (From The New Unger’s Bible Dictionary, copyright (c) 1988.) Or to put it another way, a person commits adultery whenever he or she engages in a sexual act with someone other than their spouse in violation to their marriage vows.
In the original Hebrew, the word adultery meant spoiling that which was pure. If meat has been contaminated with some other substance, say sawdust, that meat is rightly called “adulterated.” Something of an inferior quality has been added to it. It is no longer pure. A marriage becomes adulterated and is no longer pure when a third party is brought into it.

The writer of Hebrews in the New Testament had this thought in mind when he wrote, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4
I will now read a portion of that same verse from several translations:

• “and let the marriage bed be undefiled….”
• “and the marriage bed unpolluted….”
• “and keep the marriage-bed unstained.”
• “and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins.”

The ideal that is being expressed here is, adultery and other forms of sexual sins pollute, defile, stain, or render adulterated or impure the marriage bed. God will have none of that. Therefore, the passage goes on to point out that God will judge the adulterer:

• He is the perfect and true witness, for He knows exactly what happened.
• He knows what goes on behind closed doors.
• He knows who sleeps with whom.

Therefore, He is saying that He reserves the right to deal with this particular vice Himself.

HOW COMMON IS ADULTERY TODAY?
Personally, I do not know of a time when marriage and the family has been under any greater attack than what it is facing today. I mean, who in their right mind would have imagined that we would live in a day when one can go to the internet and find web-sites that are for married people who are looking to have an affair? There is even one site where, if you buy their premium package, they will guarantee that you will have an affair or they will give you your money back. How sick is that?

According to surveys, about one in every five Americans, and two in every five people worldwide, have extramarital affairs. Due to the fact that some people will not answer such a question honestly, the experts believe that the real figures are some-what higher than what the survey shows.

Along that line:

• The global high-tech pornography business rakes in more money than the entire automobile industry. Think about that.
• According to Bay Area NBC News, “A lot of married people — about 80 percent in the process of a divorce — are using a social network such as Facebook to cheat, says a survey of divorce attorneys.” A recent headline, “Money and intimacy are losing their status as the top reasons for divorce in the U.S.” Studies say Facebook is responsible for one in five divorces in the United States according to the Loyola University Health System.
• Holly Hein in her book entitled Sexual Detours notes…

• Eighty percent Eighty percent Eighty percentEighty percent Eighty percentEighty percent Eighty percent of those who divorce during an affair regret the decision. of those who divorce during an affair regret the decision.
• Over 75% who marry partners in an affair eventually divorce.
• The divorce rate is much higher among marriage partners in an affair.
• The average affair lasts two to four years. I have heard of them lasting much longer than that.

I know I have shared this story before, but it has been several years. Some of you haven’t heard it. A preacher was delivering his sermon when he noticed that several people in the congregation were yawning sleepily. In an effort to wake everyone up, he said in a loud voice, “You know, some of the happiest days of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife. This morning I am going to confess to you who the woman was.” Sure enough the congregation woke up with a loud gasp. The interest was so intense they hardly dared breathe as they waited for the revelation. After a long pause, the pastor added, “Of course, that woman was my mother.”

As luck would have it, another preacher was visiting the church that morning. As he listened, he was quite impressed by the effect that the illustration had on the audience. He committed it to memory and decided that he too would use it someday in one of his own messages.

Finally, the day arrived. It was Mother’s Day. His wife was seated on the front row along with her mother. Sure enough, in the middle of the sermon he noticed that some of the faithful were beginning to nod off. As if on cue, the pastor belted out, “You know, some of the happiest days of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife. This morning I am going to confess to you who the woman was.”
Sure enough. The story caught everyone’s attention including that of his wife and his mother-in-law. At that moment though the punch line left him. He forgot it completely. Hoping that if he said it again, the missing piece would come to him, he repeated, “You know, some of the happiest days of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife.” By this time his wife was turning several shades of red. His mother-in-law was obviously more than a little upset. The congregation was now sitting on the edge of their seats.

Still nothing. Finally, he blurted out one last time “You know, some of the happiest days of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife… and for the life of me, I can’t remember who she was.”

WHY IS ADULTERY WRONG?
ADULTERY DESTROYS FAMILIES
While the Seventh Commandment is no doubt seen by some as a negative – just another “Thou shalt not…” — it is rather another example of God’s great love. This commandment is meant to serve you and your family. It is a barrier between you and those who would come to violate your love, your home, your children, and your faith. It is a meant to serve as a fence between you and that which would destroy you. And let me assure you, nothing destroys a family faster than adultery. Did I say, “nothing”? I mean nothing.
In the beginning, God created family. The family went on to be a unifying thread in Bible history. Adam had a family. Noah had a family. Abraham had a family. Isaac had a family. Jacob had a family. God designed and blessed the family; He is committed to it.

It was within the context of the family that God choose to identify Himself with His people. He revealed Himself as the Father, and the Hebrews as His children. Later on in the New Testament, He portrayed the church as being His bride. Then too, He pictured the church as being made up of brothers and sisters in the body of Christ. It is within the scope of relationship that we come to understand the awesome privilege we have as members of the “family of God.”

Again, adultery destroys families. Someone has observed that on the backs of the family rests the church, the school, the government and almost everything else that we hold dear. Should the family unit fail, then these other institutions will also topple given time. Understanding this, the ancient Israelites considered adultery to be a serious threat, so they punished adulterers swiftly and harshly.
Adultery also defiles the marriage. God set the standard for marriage in Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” A man and a woman exchange vows before God and man. Then too, they exchange rings and they say such things as “till death do us part.” Then they go on to consummate that union when they join their bodies sexually and the two “become one flesh.” That love relationship thus encompasses the whole person:

• It is emotional.
• It is social.
• It is spiritual.
• It is financial.
• It is physical.
• It is legal.

Again, we are talking about a covenant between God and two people. As such, marriage may be the most important human institution ever devised.

It is only as one fully understands this that the awfulness of adultery becomes plain:

• The act of adultery severs all these bonds.
• Adultery smashes the deepest and most intimate levels of trust,
• shatters the covenant promises, and
• breaks down the walls of privacy and exclusivity that protect the heart of marriage.

It is, in short, an abomination.

Hollywood has made adultery appear so romantic, exciting, fulfilling, and even funny. The image makers surround it with laughter, beautiful music, and sumptuous settings. At the same time, they carefully airbrush away the inevitable shame, deceit, betrayal, and ugliness.

Pastor Ron Mehl in his book, The Tender Commandments tells of a time when he spoke to a man who was having an affair. I will let Mehl tell the story in his own words: The fellow confessed that he was having the affair because, “he had finally found a woman who loves me and cares about me.” This woman was young and vivacious; someone he could really talk too. And his wife? Well, frankly, pastor, he said, my wife isn’t what she used to be. She’s always tired.

Knowing this man and the kind of attitude he had, I felt freedom to be very frank. You say your wife is always tired? I asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “She never wants to do anything anymore.”

“I have an opinion about that,” I told him. “Let me tell you why she’s always so tired. Number one, it’s because she’s had to serve you and put up with your ingratitude and bad temper through all these years. And number two, it’s because she’s had to bear, care for, and raise your children almost single-handedly, because you were never around to help. Anyone could get weary, and tired with that kind of assignment. It makes me tired just thinking about it.”

The man didn’t have a clue. You and me, we have the benefit of seeing the story from the outside without all the drama and emotions that are often woven into such situations. As such:

• We have the opportunity to see the selfishness that is a part of an affair.
• We can see the disregard for a hard-working wife.
• We can see the deceit that Satan uses to blind the eyes of those who are being used and abused by him.
• We can also see how the devil is behind the destruction of the family and that he will stoop very, very low in order to accomplish his evil plans and purposes.

Do you want to destroy our family? All you have to do is go have an affair. You can tell me later if it was worth it.

SEX CREATES; ADULTERY DESTROYS
I believe sex is good. Like marriage and family, sex is God’s idea. He designed it and called it good. Notice Genesis 1:27-28, 31, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it…31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”
I do not want to shock anyone’s sensitivities here, but the phrase, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth…” is about procreation.

It is not as if God created the first human beings and did not think of a way for them to reproduce themselves. He created them “male and female.” In fact, ladies you are going to like this, God created Adam male before Eve even entered the picture. God already knew that the brother couldn’t make it on his own. Somewhere down the road, on one very special day, God knew that He was going to bring Eve – female – into Adam’s life. Only then would he be complete.

From the very beginning, sex was a part of the divine plan. Thus He created the male and female with all the parts that they needed in order to make babies. Notice Genesis 2:22-24, “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ’woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

David Hazony in his book The Ten Commandments adds, “The sexual urge is inherently creative. It exists in order to make new life, to replicate God’s creation of man on the sixth day. When we share it with someone we love, we are doing more than giving each other pleasure, we are joining together in the most sublime and miraculous act of creation that a human being is capable of. Certainly not every act of intimacy is aimed at having children. Yet there is no getting away from the fact that the nature of sexual intimacy is still inherently procreative—on some deep level, sex will always be about making babies.”

• In sex, as I just read, we create life – another human being.
• In sex we establish our claim to the future. A piece of us will live on in the generations to come in our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and so forth.
• In sex we make something that is eternal; someone who has an everlasting soul – someone who will outlast the stars.

Please do not think me sacrilegious in what I am about to say, but I see martial sex as being something sacred and holy. It is a piece of the creative power of God that He passed on to us.

As such, sex is not something that came about after sin entered the world. The desire to procreate is every bit as fundamental and natural as the desire to eat, drink, and to flee from danger.  Sex is to be an outgrowth of the love that exists between a husband and wife. It is therefore presumably no accident that our species, alone of the higher animals, has intercourse face to face.

While sex creates, adultery destroys.

As you can see, I have a roll of duct tape here. Do you realize that Dust Tape has been around since the Second World War? There are several books on the market that detail hundreds of uses for the stuff.

• Who needs to spend money on a luggage rack when you have duct tape? Tape those puppies down with complete confidence that your valuables are secure.
• Strapped for cash? Need to have your couch reupholstered? The quick and cheap way to handle that is to use Dust Tape. No doubt, you have some in your garage.
• Have you ever developed blisters on your feet while hiking? Band-aids are oh so juvenile. Instead use Duct Tape. It is the tape that sticks and keeps on sticking.
• Does your automobile need some body work? Instead of going to going to see Theron Dosch over at the DeDenter Shop, just use Duct Tape. No doubt, your car will become the talk of the neighborhood.

And for you young parents, here is my favorite use of all – an instant baby sitter. Just tape your child to the wall and go. The little tyke is not going to go anywhere!

Duct Tape does have a certain weakness though. When you use it on something – such as this bowling ball — you need to leave it alone. If it is left alone, it will it adhere to that item for a long, long time. However, if you decide to remove it and then reapply it, it will no longer have the same strength that it did at first. Eventually, the tape will lose its “stickability” and will no longer work.

Sex is like that. It is meant to form a lasting bond between a husband and wife. It is designed to unite one man to one woman for life. However, when it is given to this partner and that partner, it gets to the point that it no longer does what it was originally designed to do. The bond no longer holds. It becomes good for nothing — an object of shame and disgust.

Richard Foster in his book Money, Sex and Power says, “Sex is like a great river that is rich and deep and good as long as it stays within its proper channel. The moment a river overflows its banks, it becomes destructive, and the moment sex overflows its God-given banks, it too becomes destructive.”

Let me give you an example of the destructive force of immorality. I have here in my hand a deck of cards. I have used these cards numerous times in marital counseling. I simply have the couple build a house of cards. They process slowly until they are able to have maybe two or three floors in place. I then bump the table with my hand in order to knock down the house of cards.

I then ask the two people to build another house from the cards. This time, though, I keep on bumping the table. Obviously, they cannot build another house.  The point? I tell them that marital trust is like a house of cards. What may take a life-time to build can be destroyed in a moment of weakness. Finally, I teach them that to rebuild trust after a moral failure takes much more work as well as a great deal more time. The bond is broken. Trust is an inevitable casualty of an affair.

Finally, the excellent book entitled Ten, the author J. John shares, “My friend Dr. Chris Bignell, who specializes in sexually transmitted diseases, recently summarized the situation for me. “People risk their physical (and psychological) health for adultery and immorality. Sexually transmitted infections are common and have a disproportionate effect on the health of women. They are a major cause of infertility, ectopic pregnancy, chronic pelvic pain, and cervical cancer.”

According to the Center on Disease Control, “By age 25, half of sexually active adults get an STD. Having multiple sex partners also raises your risk.”

The best way to ensure you never catch a sexual disease is either not to have sex, or only to have it with someone who has only ever had sex with you. From the health point of view alone, it would be impossible to invent a better system than a lifelong exclusive marriage. God (surprise, surprise) knew what he was doing.

Solomon therefore shares in Proverbs 5:15 (New Living Translation), “Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife.”

In my next message, I will talk about some of the spiritual issues that accompany adultery. I will also talk about how to affair-proof a marriage.

AS I CLOSE, my wife and I used to pastor in beautiful Rapid City, South Dakota. Our governor at the time was a fellow by the name of Bill Janlow. Janlow served four terms as governor and then went on to serve in congress. Tragically, Congressman Janlow resigned from Congress after he caused a fatal traffic accident due to his having ran through a stop sign. He eventually served 100 days in jail due to his role in the accident. I brought all of that up today because the former governor died of cancer this past week. He was 72. Back in November Janlow was interviewed. According to the USA Today, Bill said during the course of the interview, “If I had it to do over, I’d so everything I did, but I’d stop at a stop sign.”

The man was a good governor; a popular leader. However, he also ran a stop sign. That momentary lapse in judgment was to forever change his life. It certainly ended his promising and successful political career, It also resulted in another person losing his or her life.
Today I submit to you that the Seventh Commandment is one of God’s stop signs. The Lord has placed it in your path in order to get you to stop and think. To keep you from danger. To keep you on the straight and narrow. To keep you from the wicked ways of adultery.